Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
