She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
