I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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