it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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