white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
