i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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