I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
