there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
