There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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