Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
