dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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