Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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