We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
