The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
