nut hugger
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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