New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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