You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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