i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
