If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize