yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
