I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
