Screwed.edu
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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