it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
