last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
