We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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