I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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