Say something about gay babies.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
