your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Duck Duck Cougar?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
