Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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