I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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