I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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