Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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