Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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