I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
