ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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