She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
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