remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
