I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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