are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
