i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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