Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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