My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
