just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
