Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
