I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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