it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
