apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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