Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
