As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I need to stop coming to work sober
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
