"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
