I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
