Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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