he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
