I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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