I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I would fuck him just for his dog
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