I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
