Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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