It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
