Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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