Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
