Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
