just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
