Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
