susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
birth control should be required to get into college
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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